Tuesday

Books

Wow! I just can't get enough of books right now. Some people are like, 'nah books just ain't all that,' but they're totally wrong. Books are totally zeitguyst right now, I'm on it!

Books were first zeitguyst about a million years ago when they were a cool precursor to DVDs and iPods and then DVDs and iPods came along and everyone was like 'books suck! they're like really old fashioned blogs, eurrgh!' So books makers were all like 'aw man, we totally dug being the zeitguyst, this is rubbish,' but it wasn't like they did anything about it or nothing it was like they were happy living in guyst zeit or no zeit. Huh?

To be honest the attitude of the book people around this time was so bad that I'm not even sure that they deserve to be zeitguyst ever again (but you can't choose zeitguyst - it just happens!), they did all these totally wack things like setting up awards. They set up this one award which they called "The Booker," and then they were all like "yo dude, we've got this totally zeitguyst award you gotta dig us now," and everyone else was like "can you play it over the internet with players from up to 64 different countries? Oh, no, what a surprise you lame ass book losers! Quit bothering us we're out here surfing huge big zeitguyst waves and getting dicks sucked by zeiguyst chicks like Gillian Anderson. You suck big time." And the book guys were all like, "damn, we suck" and they went home to commit like mass suicide or something.

But then this amazing Zeit Gal called JK turned up on the scene with a new kind of book Harry Potter and Joss Stone (or something like that) and everything changed. It was like JK had mowed down a primary school full of zeitguyst haters with a big zeitguyst gun. Books were totally zeitguyst again. Everyone was just like, "wow I feel exactly the same as you about books." If being the zeitguyst was the World Cup, books had just won the zeitguyst!

But it didn't stop there. Next came an even bigger zeitgun in the semi-automatic form of Dan Brown's Da Vinci's Code. Da Vinci's Code was so totally zeitguyst that every person on the planet bought it and agreed it was the best book ever. But even though there will never be a better book millions of book people are out there still trying to make one that's nearly as good, and that's why books are so totally zeitguyst right now that it hurts. It hurts like gallstones.

Whoop, I'm on it!

The ZeitGuy

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