Racism

Some things can take you by surprise, like a really funny email with a picture of some monkeys having a tea party except one of the monkeys doesn’t have a normal monkey face, it has George Bush’s face instead and then you realise that it isn’t just a hilarious joke sent to you by your good friend update345@yourbank.com, it’s actually an advert for digital cameras because at the end it says “Canon – Seeing Life Differently” and you think, ‘Ah, yes. George Bush is like a stupid tea-drinking monkey and I shall buy a camera.’

The reason I mention this is that I think what I have to say today will take you by surprise. You know, like the previous example. But without the camera advert. Or George Bush. Or any monkeys (except tangentially). Okay, are you ready? (Remember, sometimes the zeitguyst can seem strange, scary or wrong, but in these instances, it’s actually you who is wrong because you aren’t being zeitguyst enough.)

Here’s the bombshell:

Racism is totally zeitguyst right now. Whoa there, big guy; don’t choke on your frappuccino, you heard me right. Racism. Is. Zeitguyst. If I know you like I think I do (and I do), you’re probably thinking, ‘WTF?’ or at the very least, ‘OMG!’ Certainly, some kind of three-letter acronym indicating shock will be flying through your head, but just CTFD, okay? Let me explain.

Let me take a wild one, mmkay? You’re thinking: apartheid. You’re thinking: Rodney King. You’re thinking: holocaust. Of course you are. I’m not a psychic or anything freaky like that, I just know what you’re thinking because that’s what everyone thinks when you talk about racism. We’re all on the same page. Everyone pretty much agrees now that racism is a bad thing, yeah? Yeah. Well, everyone except Ghostface Killa, but he’s just doing his job. And because everyone agrees, it’s okay to make jokes about it. You can say anything you like and no one’s going to call you a racist because racists don’t exist anymore (except Ghostface Killa, but he’s a black and doesn’t know any better (ooh, see how much fun unjustified racism can be?)).

Okay, so everyone’s on board with racist jokes; they’re good clean fun and no one can get offended, not even those uptight ragheads in the Middle East (see how fine and okay this is?). So the obvious next step is to slowly reduce the levels of irony in what you’re saying. Remember, the less subtle you are, the funnier it gets. And if you’re really really unsubtle, even people without a basic education, like the stupid mud-eating Irish, will be able to understand you. It’s a very simple formula: less subtlety, more laughs. Just pretend you’re writing the third series of Little Britain.

So if you want to be right at the cutting edge of comedy, try to be as racist as you possibly can. It’s an inclusive, universal humour that has the potential to bring us all together in one huge global laugh-fest. That’s the amazing power of comedy, particularly racist comedy. Now we’re all equal, we can all laugh along together – the chinkies and the darkies and the muzzers and the caspers and the pakis and the honkies and the kikes, united at last in one big, happy family.

Peace.


ZG